How I choose a Book

Choosing a book.  The right book for the right time.  Is it a process?  Is it fate?  You don't just grab the first book you see on the top of the best sellers board.  It is a process. 

There are a couple of things that I always do when choosing a book.  First is sorting through recommendations.  I will only take recommendations from certain people. I have to know that they are reading at the same level I am. Yes I mean level.  I don't particularly care if they only read history books, or science fiction, or solely indie publishers, but they have to demand a level of writing where there is no need for me to take a red pen to the book.  A book that is not written at a third grade reading level- unless it is marketed to third graders. My biggest pet peeve is someone who doesn't know me enough that they would recommend something like 50 Shades where the author obviously cannot use a thesaurus correctly, or Google maps, much less cannot write an erotica book without me feeling like it is for a middle schooler (I have read de Sade trust me 50 shades is the tamest erotica I have ever seen). 

Secondly I hate the phrase "never judge a book by it's cover".  I know that things in life are not always (or usually) as they seem, and it is more than just outside appearances, it goes deeper.  I know this, but what leads you to that one thing you may never have heard of, but could possibly be the best book you have read all summer, or all year? Nothing takes me to a book quicker than a woman in a giant ball gown, a dirigible, or some fancy Moorish script. This is a society of instant gratification.  And often times when I buy a book it will sit on my shelf for a year or two before I even attempt to read it.  It must be pretty.  The cover of the book sets the stage, and the feeling of the book.  I feel this way with people too.  If you are completely disheveled I am going to treat you with more care than someone who looks completely together.  If you have on a grumpy face, I may very well avoid you completely.  Our world is just built this way and while I am all for fighting the system or "the man" there are somethings that are a loosing battle. And how hard really is it to get a fantastic piece of art for the title of a book that you may have spent years writing (yes I know it is not always up to the author, but put it in your contract!)

Next, there is nothing I like better than a catchy title.   I want to be captivated.  I want the entire experience to be just that, an experience.  I am going to spend hours reading your book, but how do I get to your book?  With titles like "I Just Want My Pants Back" and "Round Ireland With a Fridge" or "Evil Genes: Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed and My Sister Stole My Mother's Boyfriend"  If it wasn't for fun titles and beautiful covers it might have taken me way too long to find Christopher Moore, Tom Robbins, and Chuck Klosterman. Which would have been a tragedy. 

Last step for me is the first page, or even the first sentence.  I love books with amazingly interesting first lines.  My favorites are random, sometimes twisted, but always grab your attention:

"The way I see it, being dead is not terribly far off from being on a cruise ship" (Stiff, by Roach)

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." (1984 by Orwell)

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice." (One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Garcia Marquez)

"I have never begun a novel with more misgiving." (The Razor's Edge, by Maugham)

Or the one that has always stuck out in my mind:
"When all is said and done killing my mother came easily." (Almost Moon, by Seabold)

Like many things in life I want to be taken a hold of and thrown into the world that was created (real or imaginary).  

Whether the book ends up good, or satisfying is a whole other topic. But this is the first hurdle, the picking out of a book.  

So how do you go about it?

Book Review Time!

     Last night I finished Seth Grahame-Smith's Unholy Night.  This is his second adult book (first being Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which I highly recommend).

     I really enjoyed this one.  There is a ton of action, and G-S's writing is a welcome relief from the normal crap that is getting published these days. I strive to find good authors who can tell a story with meaning, and with language. Now if you are super religious, or just do not like alternate history, this is not the book for you.  Seriously, the narrator is one of the three wise men, and he is not a great guy.  In fact the premise is that the three wise
men are all criminals.  There is also quite a bit of violence so if people getting their heads lobbed off is not your thing this is not your book.  Final warning,  this is NOT Lamb.  It is not intended to be funny.  This is the review I keep seeing for this book, and nowhere in the description can I find where people are getting that this book is humorous.  Yes there are some bits that I chuckled at, some lighthearted moments to break up the seriousness, but that is not the point.
 
     The point is that the narrator is a criminal.  And this criminal is going on an adventure, and he is going to meet some crazy people along the way.  All in all, it is a well written book, with loads of interesting characters who you can see in a new light.  So pick it up and enjoy it for what it is!